I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
