I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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