I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.