you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You made out with two different species that night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave