...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
