Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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