You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
