Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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