So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
