Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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