P.S. I can't hear my feet
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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