I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
