I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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