im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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