Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
