so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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