Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
