god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
If that was your dad, he is hot
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
