direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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