At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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