I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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