Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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