I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
they're like a gay fantastic four
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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