Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
