guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
