I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
