Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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