literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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