it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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