It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
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You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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