How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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