the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
