Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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