Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
