wake up i wanna do it froggy style
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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