so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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