Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?