Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.