Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.