just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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