NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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