We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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