I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
