I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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