so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
