whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
