So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
