THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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