Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
