remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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