i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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