its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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