I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
