That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize