Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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