it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
