Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
