You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
