you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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