You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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