just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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