I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
