I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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