escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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